High Expectations
At the Wanderlust event, I was gathered with 500 people under a hanger for a Power Yoga session led by Brian Kest. Brian explained his process when getting into a pose:
The first 20 seconds, I listened to my body and take stock of where I am. How it feels on this particular day. How is my breath? Are my muscles tight?
The second 20 seconds, are spent breathing into the position, allowing myself to let go and doing whatever else is necessary to be at ease in the posture, in the present
The third 20 seconds are a time of strengthening, elevating, improving.
WHOA!!
I have never done yoga, skied, or anything else with this approach. The part that really struck me was the first 20 seconds. Treating it as a checking in moment. Oh, the hard on myself, high achieving talented person that I am sets high expectations for my performance. I anticipate picking up right where I left off, be it yesterday or last week, and I expect myself to out perform my last session.
My expectations are clearly, not serving me.
As a coach, I never expect this of someone I’m working with. Yes, I want to see that they’ve expanded because they are practicing, working their craft. I can tell because the vocals grow and we can do new more challenging things, and they have questions! Questions mean they are attempting things, exploring!, maybe they can’t find the solution, but the work is there. Oh I love that.
I’ve helped singers back from injury, surgery, being sick - and we NEVER try to get back what you had - we move forward and get the best from here. (Which 99% of the time is better than before!)
I’ve been told I’m hard on myself, thought I was always striving to improve. I still struggle with catching what is self judgement and what is growth. ACCEPTANCE is the key.
The first 20 seconds, I listened to my body and take stock of where I am. The second 20 seconds, are spent breathing into the position, allowing myself to let go and doing whatever else is necessary to be at ease in the posture, in the present. The third 20 seconds are a time of strengthening, elevating, improving.
Grace and humanity are added to everything by adopting this perspective. I am a living, breathing human being. How would I expect myself to be where I was the last time I did an activity? Some days you’re tired, some days you’re in pain, some days you’re anxious, and some days… fill in the blank.
This concept has completely blown my mind in various ways. When I'm working with an artist, I make sure they have the tools they need to give their audience an emotional ride. To do that, you need to know how you’re feeling , and vulnerably express from that truth when you perform and record.
One time I was working with an established artist on tour - they were exhausted. I suggested they express to their audience in the first song how tired they were and how much they wished they weren't there. (not to say it in words, express it emotionally) It was met with a firm no. To which I replied, Give it a shot! With a long relationship, they trusted me to do it. Post show I asked how it went, they said, "It was the best show ever, I had so much fun!"
I laughed. How did that come to pass? It all begins with honesty —the exhaustion and dissatisfaction quickly dissipated after being expressed. The joy of performing, the connection to the audience, their music and band… they went back into their usual flow of connection. When you start with where am I? , and express the truth in your work, you connect and flow. The first 20 seconds I check in.
If the performer had tried to fake a high level of energy when they were feeling exhausted, they would have only made themselves more exhausted and their audience would have picked up on their frustration. Likewise, if an athlete has a knee injury, they would be wise not to expect themselves to work out and play the way they did before the injury. As you recover and get back to full strength, your workout routine adapts accordingly.
Adjustments are more delicate when dealing with one's emotional state, nervous system, or spirit rather than one's physical self. In the second 20 seconds, I will relax into the pose however works best for me.
So, when completing a task, giving a performance, or perfecting a skill, we let go of expectations or rather DEMANDING a high performance and instead be true to yourself. By doing so, you honor yourself by checking in with yourself, working on yourself, and producing an action that is both expressive and excellent. EXCELLENCE comes with consistency of practice. The third 30 seconds are a time of strengthening, elevating, improving.
#growthmindset #practice #rehearsal