The Power of Expectations
I was on the mat at the Wanderlust festival and 500 of us were under a huge hanger listening to Brian Kest guide us through the asanas.
We hold each pose for a minute, the 1st 20 seconds, I’m checking in with myself, my body - how do I feel today in this pose? How is my breath, my muscles, where am I tight? The 2nd 20 seconds I lean into the pose, adjusting, making subtle changes and the 3rd 20 seconds I settle in and strengthen my position.
WHOA!!
That is not how I ever approached the first 20 seconds of any activity, not yoga, not skiing, not anything. I expect myself to be excellent the minute I start. I expect myself to perform at a high-level. I expect myself to be where I left off the last time and better. I have some serious expectations. I have expectations that are clearly not serving me.
The 1st 20 seconds checking in where am I in the moment and how do I feel in this position? The 2nd 20 seconds is breathing into the pose letting myself release or do whatever it is I need to do to get comfortable in the pose, in the moment and the 3rd 30 seconds is strengthening, elevating, improving.
This perspective, this approach gives so much grace and humanity to everything. I am a living, breathing human. How would I expect myself to be where I was the last time I did an activity? Some days you’re tired, some days you’re hung over, some days you’re anxious, some days you’re fill in the blank.
This idea blew my mind, changed my mind about so many things. Working with artists I help them be able to deliver, to take their audience on an emotional ride under all circumstances. To do that, you need to know how you’re feeling and be honest, express from that place when you perform and record.
I was working with an established artist on tour - they were exhausted, so I said when you start to show, express your audience how tired you are and how you don’t want to be there. They said “No way, I can’t do that!” I said sure you can - give it a try! Start the show expressing how exhausted you are. After the show I asked, how it was and their reply “It was the best show ever, I had so much fun!”
HaHaHaHa!! Why did that happen? Because they started in their truth - fatigue and frustrations which didn’t last because they expressed it! The joy of performing, the connection to the audience, their music and band… they went back into their usual flow of connection, When you start with where am I, and express the truth in your work, you connect and flow. The 1st 20 seconds - check in with myself, where am I? How am I feeling in this moment.
If that artist had tried to pump up their energy when they were really tired, they actually would’ve been working against themselves and then more tired through the whole show and the audience would’ve seen that internal conflict and their fatigue.
If an athlete has a knee injury, they would be wise not to expect themselves to work out and play the way they did before the injury. You change your work out to rehabilitate and come back stronger. Well it’s obvious if one has a physical injury that adjustments need to be accommodated, It’s more subtle when it’s your emotional state, your nervous system, your spirit. The 2nd 20 seconds - release or do whatever it is I need to do to get comfortable in the pose, in the moment.
So, when doing a task, performing singing, practicing, can we let go of expectations or rather DEMANDING and instead be TRUE to yourself BY checking in with yourself, working with yourself, and creating an action of expression and excellence because you are honoring yourself. The 3rd 30 seconds is strengthening, elevating, improving.
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